We hear it everywhere "be happier, be happy, practice gratitude, find happiness". And it can be a bit discerning if it seems like everyone else is aboard the happy train, most of the time...
But what is it?
Happiness is defined as "the state of being happy"...seems a bit vague, right...
That's because happiness is actually a subjective emotion - meaning it means different things to everybody.
And what if that's not how we actually feel right now...what if we don't FEEL happy or think we don't know how...
How easy is it to feel this positive emotion when things are feeling scattered, crazy or in upheaval?
Are there ways to make ourselves feel happy when it might not feel so easy or when we may be sabotaging or blocking our own happiness ..? Yes we can actually stop ourselves experiencing happiness :(
But not to fret, there are ways to develop our ability to experience more happiness & regularly...
Be Open to Newness
We can actually become accustomed to feel a certain way - so anything that goes over that threshold feels off & not right (even when it feels good). So, when we feel this way we have to take ourselves back down to our "safe" space, the space we are used to and know, that feels familiar.
However, this detrimental to our growth & ability to feel & experience new things. How can we change this...
We have to try new experiences, things outside of your usual routine or comfort zone. Making way for new experiences gives us the opportunity to feel different emotions and the more we do this the more comfortable we get with different feelings and the more confidence we have in ourselves, resulting in increased happiness.
Be Flexible
I recently read an article of a study on happiness. From the study "researchers suggest that it's important to have a flexible approach and recognise the benefits of both short-term pleasure & long-term goals".
Find your balance between creating your future and enjoying the present moment. It can be easy to focus solely on one or the other but this can cause resentment, if we feel we are missing out on adventures or connections. Or it can cause disappointment, if we don't make time to create the life we want.
Schedule It In
Setting some time out in your day to focus on you is important because that's where true happiness forms - by focusing on what's inside...
What's really important to you? What makes you laugh out loud? When do you feel most yourself? When do you feel a sense of peace?
Sure nice things, pretty things, expensive things can give us a boost of dopamine or serotonin ("happy hormone/feel good hormone") but those levels are short lived, they are temporary, usually very fleeting and almost instantly we are looking for the next big, shiny, new thing (in material things, relationships or experiences). And most of the time these things are expensive or costly (monetary and health wise).
Now there is nothing wrong with these things, it's when these become the basis of our joy & our happiness that we will feel disconnected, unhappy, never fulfilled.
Because if we don't make the effort & put in the time to find authentic happiness we will likely continue living feeling lack, unworthiness & always wanting more - never satisfied or complete.
Make a list of all the things that make you feel good - big & small - and do them more.
Remember When
Okay, we may not feel happy right now in this moment or it may have been a while since we can remember when we felt this way...
But we have all experienced some form of happiness in our lives, some form of excitement, love or feeling good.
We just need to find it again...take time to reflect on your life - when was it better than now? when did it feel exciting? when did you laugh or simply smile?
It's all there within us - stored in our memories and our bodies. When you remember those feelings close your eyes and re-experience them. You can go back to that precise moment in your mind and really feel what you felt, instantly bringing you feelings of happiness & joy in your present NOW.
The more you practice this the easier you will feel those feelings. Naturally progressing these to your go-to emotions.
It's important to remember - We are not going to feel happy in every moment of life but by believing, understanding & feeling that happiness can grow within us and that it also comes & goes can help life feel less confusing & less puzzling to more simple & whole lot HAPPIER.
To you finding your inner smile :)
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