Can I share something with you...
Sometimes I don't show up as my best self.
Sometimes I am completely triggered by things I'm not quite sure of.
Sometimes I think fuck it, what's the point.
Sometimes I wanna shut back down & keep the pain, hurt & emotions out or locked down deep inside.
Sometimes dwelling in the past feels a lot "safer" than the new discovery & risk (although only a limited relief).
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm making any headway - even though I'm showing up each day.
Sometimes I'm bogged down with self-doubt: It's not changing, I'm still drowning...
But for all these "sometimes" there are the days it clicks & I can see the progress, the results, the exploration, the journey.
I can FEEL IT & SEE IT - [insert sigh of relief] :)
I could have given up countless times but something inside of me CHOOSES to power on.
I could always sense there was more - what I couldn't quite tell.
As a child I remember looking out across the water & thinking "there's got to be more than this...surely this can't be it!"
This memory reminds me of the natural inquisitiveness we have - mine was only hidden & beaten down by my mind and its need to be in control of everything.
Even in the deep intense emotional episodes I would cry out "Help me, please help me"...who or what was I talking to..?
I had no idea, but I had a sense there was more - a stronger force, a different force, a helpful force.
But I always shut down any openness & connection to explore that force, out of fear.
So how did I manage to transform & change this inward sense & connection within myself?
How have I connected to the drive to keep going, to push on, to show up & try again no matter how difficult & heavy it felt...
The strong will to succeed with everything I put my focus to:
By creating non-negotiable space for self-reflection & self-care - meditation, grounding, intention setting, positive self-enquiry & talk.
This time & space can be any form of 'headspace'...when the kids go to bed, when you're out with the dog, just before drifting off to sleep...
How did my day go? Was there something I could have handled differently? What can I do to improve on it? How would I like tomorrow to look & feel? What am I grateful for? What made me smile today?
When we positively position ourselves & contemplate we are reminded of the truth - that when we are open, expanded, non-judgemental, open-minded & accepting of what is...
We make room for new solutions, stronger inner connections, better outcomes & advancements (mentally, emotionally, physically & spiritually).
I believe we are all born with that inner strength & will - our experiences may have impacted & clouded our connection to it.
But we can dig deep, look back, think back - somewhere in the memory box is that strong willed, determined you.
The one that has got you HERE...the one that keeps progressing.
You've made it this far, you made it through your experiences & how did you do that?
Through determination, will, strength, resilience & because you had to.
It's in you - go find it!
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