Take time for YOU, make room for what's important to you, look after yourself...
I hadn't even heard of the term "self-care" until a few years back. I certainly didn't know of it or use it in the past.
But what exactly are we talking about when we say Self-Care...
Initially I linked self-care to being presentable, clean and eating well - that's as far as my understanding went.
However, as time progressed and my learning expanded I became very aware of how deep and inward self-care can be.
Self- Care can show up in many ways and be many different things...here are a few, maybe not so readily thought about, examples for your contemplation:
Taking a step back
In a world of non-stop on the go, the first to the finish line, the more we have the greater our success mindsets it can seem counterintuitive to decide to take a step back. We may have fears of losing all we have achieved or if we stop we will never pick it back up - we may mentally combust at the thought.
But, a lot of the times, we have taken on too much, we are trying to keep up with the "Jones's" or the "Mackay's" or whoever lives down the road. It may even be that what we are pummelling ourselves with (in order to have a wee bit more money or the status we think others are impressed by) is in actual fact something we have no positive connection with - we may hate it everyday - it doesn't light us up, bring us fulfilment or content. In reality it is only contributing to our ever growing sense of emptiness & despair.
By taking a step back & evaluating what you want in life, what you want to pursue and how you want to be spending most of your quality time we generate space and opportunity for the right things to show up and for you to be steered in the direction of your choice.
Maybe it is a complete overhaul or maybe it's just a few minor tweaks here and there but without the space to listen, to figure it out or to be guided you'll never know.
Putting Yourself First
This can be a specifically hard one, especially for us mums & those who were taught that it was selfish to put your needs before others.
Putting yourself first doesn't mean you drop out & completely desert everyone else around you - it means making sure your health & well-being are being looked after and that you are making that a priority. No-one wants or needs a flaky role model ;). (note: that does not in anyway mean that you have to be perfect).
Only to "Make Yourself a Priority"
You are not taking away from others when you look after yourself - the opposite is true you are GIVING. Creating, becoming and giving the best version of yourself.
In order to show up the best we can for others we have to first be able to show up like that for ourselves - otherwise we don't truly have the skills, the knowledge and the teachings to pass on.
To truly practice self-care is to make sure you are showing up every day and in each way the way you choose to.
Acceptance
Accepting what is or what's going on around you can be a tough feat...but what if we were to simplify it to accepting or allowing what is happening in each individual moment...
Seems like that could be a lot easier, right?
By living moment to moment - being present - the best we can and not turning each thought or emotion into a catastrophe takes away the anxious & "out of control" feelings that come with constantly thinking about what is 'not right' or panicking about what it means for the future (the future we don't know anything about) or resisting those thoughts, feelings or emotions that comes up.
When we resist ourselves & our experiences like this we decrease our resilience for the high stress situations, that ultimately will arise in our lives.
Studies have shown that developing acceptance leads to "less mental health issues".
It doesn't mean you have to sit back and do nothing about things - if you are unhappy or you want to change something you CAN. Acceptance of where you are while striving and taking meaningful action for the outcomes we want is key.
The thing with self-care is that it can mean different things to different people - so the way you interpret self-care and what that entails can be dramatically different to the way of others.
For me I help others, I meditate, exercise, I give value & be of service to others and I look after myself nutritionally, physically, mentally & spiritually.
So take some time to reflect, shut people out for a little while & figure what self-care means for you - what do you want to experience, what gives you feelings of relaxation & wholeness, where can you bring a little more self-care into your world?
Here are some examples you can take with you: Yoga, meditation, having a nap, saying no, setting boundaries, reading, smiling/laughing, getting creative (singing, dancing, drawing), asking for support, accepting help, meet with friends, time-out, a walk, exercise, eating well, ask for what you need - a hug, some space, an ear to listen, an emotional release (journalling, coaching, therapy), good sleep, building new habits, creating a safe stable home environment, de-cluttering your space, having an off day and allowing yourself the freedom to have it, finding a new job, a new relationship, being on your own for a while, letting go of past judgements, creating new goals & achievements.
The beauty of these things are they also don't need to be overly time consuming. Learning to be aware of what you need in any moment will allow you to practice these things more often - becoming a pro at actually giving yourself what you need and in doing so will increase your energy, uplift your moods, improve your well-being, build resilience and relax the body & mind.
Self- Care is learning about yourself & taking your power back! It's necessary.
"Mastering Yourself is true power" - Lao Tzu
P.s If you need a little guidance or direction you can find my details here on my website & instructions of what to do next.
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