What is Resilience?
Resilience is the ability to successfully manage & adapt to life's difficult & challenging experiences.
There are 4 types of resilience:
Physical Resilience: our body's capacity to meet physical challenges, including accidents or sickness.
Mental Resilience: where we problem solve, come up with alternative & creative solutions and be flexible to meet mentally challenging experiences.
Emotional Resilience: how we manage & regulate our emotional responses & how we deal with our feelings & emotions on a regular basis. This also includes our emotional awareness & intelligence.
Social Resilience: is our connection to others; friendships, support, community, family & how we can support each other during & through difficult times.
Resilience is sometimes something we associate only with people who have suffered great pain, traumas & anguish. Yet, the word when used in Physics is the ability of say, an elastic band, to be pulled or stretched and when released spring back to its original shape - this can be seen as our ability to bounce back.
Yet, how often do we question our inner strength, abilities & capabilities ? How often do we see others as stronger & more resilient than ourselves? How often do we downplay our experiences?
When, how often do we actually bounce back from our personal life events? Every single day, I say. If you have ever struggled, faced challenges, had mindset dips, experienced pain, heartache or loss and you are here then you are resilient.
So, are these the only types of resilience we encounter or that we create?
Recently, while listening to a podcast, I was opened to the idea that we can also embrace a different variety of resilience, used between each of the 4 types above, during different points & events in our life. As I reflected on my daily life & my experiences over the years I uncovered 4 personal varieties of resilience.
Aggressive Resilience
This can sum up our "less liked" side. The rage, the forcefulness, the controlling part. Possibly even the "nothing to lose" part of ourselves that can make an appearance. However, as "ugly" as it may seem to us is sometimes a necessary part of our survival. The type of resilience that "takes no prisoners". This can also be a form of resilience that is used when meeting physical challenges such as: sporting events, getting strong & fit or overcoming & healing from sickness or other physical adversities.
Vibrant Resilience
The resilience when you just know it, sense it & feel it. It's the conscious choices & decisions - that whatever is blocking you or holding you back is no longer in charge. It's determined, no matter what stands in the way. But unlike 'Aggressive Resilience' It's empowered in a softer way. Charged by your own will, desire, want & need to change.
Subtle Resilience
Is the everyday resilience we use, yet a lot of the time are oblivious to. We may even believe we do not possess resilience here & at these times, yet we are all adorned with this natural ability to push through. As simple as getting through the day, managing families, managing our ever fluctuating minds. I call this 'Subtle' only because it is somehow less obvious to us. It doesn't make it any less impactful or have any less meaning.
Surrendered Resilience
In my opinion, the toughest resilience to be in. The resilience to completely 'let go' & just be with what is happening around us. Being with each feeling as it arises, not trying to squash it or make it disappear. No longer focusing on the outcomes or the things that are wanted internally. Trusting that everything has a purpose & is happening for a reason - no matter what that looks like. Knowing it shall pass & things will work out as they should.
(as is often the case in my writing these are my personal views, names & outlooks - you may have encountered similar feelings, yet it may be better worded or named to you. If you have your own take some time to draw out your own notes of personal resilience varieties & name them. This can be empowering & beneficial for understanding during future challenges. You can get a better sense of where you are & how best to manage).
One definition of the word 'Resilience' is:
"the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties" - Oxford Languages
But what is "quickly"? How can the word be measured when each of us have a unique way of being, processing & learning?
Just because one person pulls through something quicker than you, does that make you less resilient? Or maybe you are more physically resilient than emotionally resilient...does that take away your level of resilience?
I think not. I believe we all possess this natural ability & skill and the more we believe this within ourselves the better we can manage the self-doubt and improve our self-confidence, in managing what life may bring us.
Sometimes we get too caught up in the "definitions' & comparisons. Grouping things under singular umbrellas, when we & experiences cannot really be grouped in this way. Each character, personality & identity is unique along with how we welcome, accept & manage our day-to-day.
Like anything we learn it can always be developed & improved on, if need be. Resilience is individual to each person - how one may manage is not necessarily the same for others. However, we get through tough times, trauma, challenges - no matter the length it takes or the journey we embark to get through it.
Yeah, some days it sure doesn't feel like it but every step you take, every empowering post you read or like, every time you manage a smile (when it's not how you feel), every time you have a thought about doing things differently is your inner strength (resilience) shining through. Just because you cry, scream, lose it or have a crap day, week or month doesn't take away any strength you have inside or take away from any past or future achievements.
Resilience has many forms: sometimes it's a bounce, sometimes it's a kickback, sometimes it's leaving something behind, sometimes it's forward motion, sometimes it's a hug, sometimes it's tears & grief, sometimes it's laughter. Being with what you need in each moment is the resilience - You are the RESILIENCE.
To meeting what you need in each moment,
Where have you been resilient lately? Do you have other names for other varieties or types of resilience you've experienced? I'd love to hear yours. Please feel free to share them in the comments or message me directly.
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